Only
When the Evisceration ofJunot Diazis Not Enuf
FOR BOUGIE COLORED GIRLS
TO: ZINZI CLEMMONS; ROXANE GAY;
CARMEN MARIA MACHADO;
ALISA VALDES
(and your little dog, too: Monica something)
FROM: ERIKA LOPEZ SAN FRANCISCO
11 MAY 2018
DEAR FRAGILE NEEDY LITTLE INSANE POWER MAD HUNGRY HEARTLESS SOCIOPATHIC EVIL SEXLESS BOUGIE HOUSE NIGGER GIRLS WHO WANT IT BOTH WAYS:
As an artist with a vagina, a handful of published books, and the requisite "z" at the end of my name, I slot generically into the institutionally meaningless "LatinX writers" genre you are eviscerating Junot Diaz for. And as a Black woman, as a Boricua, and as a writer, I don't know who the fuck you sell-out bougie princesses are, but Junot Diaz is my Brother and unlike you, he knows the Myth of Negro Solidarity is not a motherfuckin faery tale legend or myth after all. Your insatiable childish mad hungry need for power and attention along with dangerously divisive "identity politics" is the real myth.
He tried to tell you each so; it was all over in your own written complaints against him. You didn't listen and now you've all gone and house niggered yourselves in front of all of Amerikkka and messed your pants. That's why it makes it hard for so many of us to look directly at this without wincing through waves of deep existential nausea despair and hopelessness.
Shame on each of you. All that education money and promise and now every last one of you is a fucking super narcissistic demon spawn crack baby with an eternal tantrum, a boundless sense of entitlement, a twitter account, and a smartphone. So go fuck yourselves--- and fuck your little dog, too. You can have that fucking meaningless pussy LatinX book category all to yourselves. I want absolutely nothing to do with your demonic vampire bougie ways and any of this trifling passive aggressive house nigger shit. JUNOT DIAZ DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG---ETHICALLY, LEGALLY, SPIRITUALLY, ARTISTICALLY, RELIGIOUSLY, OR MORALLY---IN KISSING, LOVING, ARGUING WITH, FUCKING AND BREAKING UP WITH OR HATING THE BOOKS OF YOU OVER-AMBITIOUS/OVER-EDUCATED/UNDER-PRINCIPLED GROWN ADULT WOMEN TOO FRAGILE AND MANIPULATIVE TO HANDLE SPONTANEOUS UNREQUISITIONED KISSES OR UNANNOUNCED HEATED ARGUMENTS WITH A MAN WHO DOESN'T BETA HUNCH, END SENTENCES IN VOCAL FRY QUESTION MARKS, OR ASK PERMISSION TO KISS YOU.
a mis-fired kiss is not abuse. morning after regret is not rape. and mere accusations do not make it so.YOU ARE NOW THE SHREWS BULLIES TROLLS AND HYPOCRITES YOU SAID YOU WERE FIGHTING. YOU ARE HIJACKING REAL RAPE ISSUES WITH THIS WEAK CONTRIVED MISANDRISTIC BULLSHIT THAT DANGEROUSLY DISTRACTS AND DIVIDES WHILE THE SAME FEW PEOPLE MAKE MONEY OFF YOUR MASCULINE CLICKBAIT SACRIFICES AND RUN AWAY WITH ALL THE MOTHERFUCKIN CHEESE. WOMEN ARE NOT AS WEAK, HELPLESS, AND SEXLESS AS YOU INSIST WE ARE. HARDLY. IN FACT WOMEN LIKE YOU ARE THE REASON I GOT SCARED STRAIGHT IN THE FIRST PLACE AND WENT BACK TO FUCKING MEN. SincerelyERIKA LOPEZ
"REVENGE OF THE WHITE GIRLS"
I CAN'T SIT OUT ON THE SIDELINES WATCHING WHITE MEN'S PENISES & PENISES IN GENERAL BECOMING MORE & MORE FEARED & OUTLAWED AS IT'S SEEMING LIKE THE ONLY ONES LEFT WHO GET TO EVEN BE MEN ANYMORE ARE PEOPLE ORIGINALLY BORN AS WOMEN. THIS IS WRONG. THIS DICK HUNT IS WRONG BECAUSE I'M NOT FUCKING GIRLS ANYMORE AND WHEN I SEE HOW RAVAGED MEN ARE IN THE HEARTS AND BETWEEN THE LEGS I HAVE NO IDEA WHEN HOW THIS ALL HAPPENED. / AND NOW THAT A COUPLE OF GIGGLINGLY FROZEN AND TRAUMATIZED WHITE GIRLS FEEL RUINED FOR LIFE BY SEEING LOUIS CK'S HARD COCK SPEWING JISM ONTO HIS OWN SOFT DOUGHY STOMACH & HAVE NOT EVEN FOUND A MODICUM OF JUSTICE IN THE INSTANT DEATH OF HIS MIRACULOUS PRACTICALLY SELF-MADE CAREER SOME WHITE GIRL IS NOW ACHING FOR AL FRANKEN'S FAMILY JEWELS PERCHED ATOP HER MAKEUP MIRROR BECAUSE SHE COULDN'T TAKE A FUCKING JOKE. THIS YOU ALL THIS IS WHY MONTY PYTHON WOULDN'T LET WOMEN IN THEIR GROUP + THIS IS WHY ERYKAH BADU HAS TO KEEP HER SENSE OF HUMOR HIDDEN EVEN AS SHE'LL SWAGGER WITH THAT ASS OUT IN THE OPEN IN TEXAS WHERE THEY FEAR BLACK PUSSY OUT IN THE OPEN MORE THAN NUCLEAR ANNIHILATION. ONCE BLACK PUSSY'S OUT IN THE OPEN ALL HELL'S GONNA BREAK LOOSE BECAUSE CATERING TO THE FEARS OF WHITE WOMEN AND WHAT THEY WANT AND CRAVE IS LEADING US TO ONLY MORE HELL AND MELANIA TRUMP'S DEAD EYES THAT YOU SEE ON WOMEN WHO'RE FUCKING OLD MEN AND PRETENDING IT'S WORTH THE RANCID DEAD SMELL OF YOUR SOUL LEAKING OUT BETWEEN YOUR OWN LEGS COME MORNING. YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELVES. THERE IS LITTLE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BLACK AND WHITE AS WHITE IS AN ATTITUDE NOW. AND IF YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT READ HOW 12 YEARS A SLAVE LUPITA NYONG'O DEALT WITH WEINSTEIN'S OVERTURES IN THE NYTIMES. SHE KNEW WHO SHE WAS AND WHAT SHE WAS THERE FOR + NO DICK HAD TO BE SUCKED TO HONOR HER ANCESTORS OR THE TRAJECTORY OF HER PEOPLE. NEW YORK FUCKING TIMES. EW. YEAH FAKE FUCKING NEWS BECAUSE I COULD NOT BELIEVE HOW THEY HAVE RUN WITH THE GOSSIP SO PROUDLY AND KILLED LOUIS CK'S CAREER AND SET UP ALL HIS FRIENDS' PROMO INTERVIEWS CONVENIENTLY BEFORE THEY BROKE THE STORY AS LOUIS CK'S DICK WAS JUST TOO DAMN NOT SOFT LIKE JEFF BEZOS THE NEW DADDY EVERY NEW STARLET IS WHORING UP TO. HOW DO YOU WHORE UP TO A GUY WHO WENT ALL OUT TO RESURRECT KEVIN SPACEY'S CAREER BASED ON FUCKING SEARCH ENGINE RESULTS? THIS IS WHAT YOU GET. NO SOUL. NO HARD ON WILLING TO FIGHT TO SAVE ANYTHING EXCEPT WORLD DOMINATION. UNTIL I FINALLY HOSED THEM ALL DOWN ONE NIGHT NEXT DOOR LOUD WHITE GIRLS WERE SLEEPING IN TENTS OUTSIDE IN THE BACKYARD OF SOME FILIPINO DUDE WHO WAS PRETENDING HE WAS A CHINESE TECH START UP CAT + THEY DIDN'T SUCK HIS DICK; THEY SLEPT IN TENTS OUTSIDE IN ASEXUAL PANTIES AND TSHIRTS AND THIS IS WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY BELOVED HOME TOWN OF SAN FRANCISCO. TECH HAS REMADE THE WORLD IN ITS OWN PIXELATED IMAGE. THEY ARE ALL SOULLESS WHORES HERE NOW UNWILLING TO LOOK UP AND AT ANYONE. YOU ARE TINDER. FLIPPABLE. SWIPE LIKE RUNNY SNOT. ANYONE IN REAL LIFE IS AN INCONVENIENCE. COMPUTER ME./ & POOR MEN, IF THEY ARE EVEN STILL ALIVE + HAVE FEELING BELOW THE NECK, ARE ALREADY CONFUSED HOW TO APPROACH PUSSY + NOW YOU HAVE DRIVEN THEM FURTHER UNDERGROUND + ARE MAKING MEN INTO THINGS YOU'LL WANNA FUCK EVEN LESS THAN YOU DO NOW. YOU TREAT PENISES LIKE ONE TIME OBLIGATIONS AND IT'S NOT FAIR. MEN ARE NOT STUPID OR INHERENTLY MEAN OR EVIL. THEY ARE LONELY AND SAD. I USED TO BE SPEECHLESS THAT IT WAS OK FOR LESBIAN WANNA BE MOMS TO SAY THEY DIDN'T WANT BABY BOYS. AT ALL. / IT IS MAD SAD THAT LOUIS CK HAS A SOFT BELLY AND ONLY JERKS OFF TO HIMSELF TO BE POLITE. THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO MEN. ALL MEN. MOST MEN. NEW MEN. EVEN COLORED MEN: FEMINIZED THEM WITHIN AN INCH OF ALL OUR LIVES. EVERY TIME I SEE A BROTHER BENT OVER HIS PHONE COMPUTERING IN PUBLIC I THINK "YOU HAVE LOST YOUR COTTON PICKING MIND YOU OF ALL PEOPLE CANNOT AFFORD TO LOOK DOWN IN AMERIKKKA" / NO WONDER THIS HORRIFIED MAN STOMPED UP TO ME ONE DAY + INSISTED BESTIALITY'S ON THE RISE: OUR POOR CAPTIVE UNSUSPECTING DOGS CATS AND FISH ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN LOOK SOULFULLY INTO OUR EYES & HOLD A FUCKING CONVERSATION ANYMORE. / AND YOU'VE DONE IT TO ALL UPCOMING MEN. THIS IS ALL ABOUT MIS-USE OF POWER WHICH IS THE AMERIKKKAN WAY. AND IT'S ABOUT KILLING THE NATURAL SACRED AND ALIVE IN US IN THE SAME WAY THE WITCH HUNTS WERE ARE ABOUT ERADICATING PAGANISM THE NATURAL DIVINE THE FEMININE DIVINE WILD NATURAL & ITS CYCLES. WITCH HUNTS = SOLIDIFYING THE POWER OF A HEIRARCHICAL & PATRIARCHICAL CHRISTIANITY. / AND THUS THIS DICK HUNT IS NOW ABOUT FINAL GLOBAL CORPORATE CONSOLIDATION & DOMINATION: PRIVATIZING EXTRACTING NEUTRALIZING FRIGHTENING PACIFYING DOMESTICATING DISTRACTING DUMBIFYING CONTROLLING DIVIDING SPLINTERING SOCIETY TO CAPITALIZE ON ALL THAT IS LEFT FOR THE IRRATIONAL SHORT-TERM-THINKING / RACE-TO-THE-BOTTOM STOCK MARKET BECAUSE CORPORATE PROFIT IS ALL THAT MATTERS NOW & CORPORATIONS HAVE THE RIGHTS OF PEOPLE & THE SOULS OF DEVILS. CORPORATE PROPHETS & PROFITS. FUCK WATER AIR FIRE EARTH GOD JESUS OR ALLAH THE EARTH OURSELVES. EVEN THE BUDDHIST MONKS HAVE GONE BLOODTHIRSTY MAD. SO THIS IS ABOUT BREEDING/TRAINING BENIGN COMPLIANCE / ABSOLUTE OBEISANCE IN HUMANITY + KILLING OFF WHAT'S LEFT OF THE SACRED MASCULINE AND ALL THAT IS WILD DARING DANGEROUS AGGRESSIVE DEFIANT NATURAL MESSY HAIRY SWEATY & ALIVE IN THIS SOULLESS CORPORATE-SPONSORED ASEXUAL ANTI-HUMAN ANTI-LIFE ANTI-EARTH TECH DATA-DRIVEN DEATH MACHINE HELL BENT FOR DESTRUCTION. EVEN SWEDEN WANTED TO LEGISLATE MEN SIT ON TOILETS BECAUSE URINALS WERE INHERENTLY OFFENSIVE. /ALL WHILE PEOPLE DRINK EXPENSIVE COFFEE MADE OF CIVET SHIT. EVEN THE LAND OF THE VIKINGS & TABLE-POUNDING DRINKING SONGS CAN TRY TO PUSSIFY MEN AND THE FEW MEN WHO FIGHT BACK YOU IMPRISON OR TEMPT WITH WAXED PEDOPHILE BAIT AND ENTRAP ON NATIONAL TV BECAUSE THEY ARE AFRAID OF GROWN PUSSY BECAUSE GROWN PUSSY WILL TURN ON YOU MAKE FUN OF YOU RIDICULE YOU SHRED YOU ON THE INTERNET AND THE NEW YORK FUCKING TIMES AND TAKE EVERY LAST FUCKING DIME JUST TO MAKE A POINT THAT HE DIDN'T WAIT FOR AN ANSWER. BEWARE SUCH WOMEN. I CANNOT BELIEVE THOSE GIRLS WHO WATCHED LOUIS CK JERK OFF TO THE END ARE VICTIMS. I THINK THEY LIVE TO VICTIM-IZE. ONE GIRL ALONE IS A VERRRRY DIFFERENT ANIMAL ALONE THAN WITH TWO. TRUST THAT. / IT'S CHEMICAL. LIKE HOW OUR PERIODS ALIGN. SO THEY BECAME EXCITED BITTER JACKALS WHO STAYED THROUGH HIM COMING ON HIS STOMACH AND ASKING WHICH ONE'S WHICH ON THEIR WAY OUT THE DOOR FOR THE FUCKING STORY. AND THEY TWIST THE WORD BACKLASH WHEN PEOPLE WERE HORRIFIED AT THEM TELLING THIS STORY BECAUSE THEY BREACHED APPARENTLY NOW-DEAD UNSPOKEN RULES ABOUT NOT MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE'S AWKWARDNESSES WHILE CRYING, FUCKING, DANCING OR JUST PLAIN TRYING. / AND FUCK YOU MARC MARON. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHY THE FUCK IS LOUIS CK SUPPOSED TO ANSWER YOU ABOUT JERKING OFF IN FRONT OF WOMEN? FUCK YOU. TELL US HOW DEEP YOU LIKE FINGERS UP YOUR ASS WHY DON'T YOU. AND TO THE FAMOUS LESBIAN CANCER SURVIVOR... ET TU, TIG NOTARO? THAT'S YOUR NAME TO ME NOW: ET TU TIG. ET TU TIG YOU TURN ON LOUIS CK AND ALL THE FUCKING MATERIAL AND SHIT HE GAVE YOU BOTH FOR YOU TO TURN ON HIM SO FUCKING EASILY AND PUBLICLY. AND ET TU TIG IT WAS JUST FIVE OR TEN MINUTES AGO THAT HOMOSEXUALITY IN UNCLE SAM LAND WAS ALSO AN IMMORAL ILLEGAL + VERY "BAD THING" AND MADE THE WORLD KILL YOU OR AT LEAST DISOWN DISAVOW DENY YOU LIKE YOU DID TO A MAN WHO PRODUCED YOU & YOUR DREAM. SO JUST BECAUSE YOU FEEL YOUR PRODUCER MAY HAVE MIS-USED HIS POWER & CHEAPENED THE HOLY SPECIAL MAGICAL ROLE OF MANIFESTING VISIONS DREAMS & PEOPLE DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO AGREE TO DO THE SAME. / HE INVESTED IN YOU & NOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO RENT OUT YOUR APARTMENT OR UBER FOR CASH LIKE THE HOI POLLOI MUST THESE DAYS. FOR WHATEVER REASON THAT'S A COUPS FOR YOU. REMEMBER THAT. YOU JUST WANNA BE WHITE AND BULLY FROM THE BIG HOUSE TOO. SHAME ON YOU ET TU TIG. DAY OF THE JACKALS INDEED / ALL OF YOU MAKE ME FEEL SORRY FOR THE GIRLS HE'S LOVED AND THE FRIENDS HE'S HELPED OR MADE UP WITH. WHAT WAS THE POINT? THIS IS WHY I HATE FACEBOOK: BECAUSE THERE'S A FUCKING REASON YOU LOST TOUCH WITH THESE PEOPLE IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE./ LOUIS CK WITH FRIENDS LIKE THOSE... YOU FINISH THE SENTENCE BUT START OVER. USE BEING A PARIAH TO YOUR ADVANTAGE BECAUSE MOST FOLKS AREN'T WORTH KNOWING ANYHOW. THEY'RE RIFF RAFF. AND ET TU TIG, THERE IS USUALLY SELFISHNESS BEHIND MOST/ALL FUCKING CAREER FAVORS IN AMERIKKKA SO GET USED TO IT AND DON'T LOOK FOR PURITY IN ANY MONEY OR DREAM COME TRUE. AT LEAST NO ONE ASKED YOU TO SUCK THEM OFF AND HE DIDN'T JERK OFF IN FRONT OF YOU. IN HOLLYWOOD EVEN THE BELOW-THE-LINE FOLKS ARE GIVING HEAD FOR A UNION GIG JUST TO KEEP THE HEALTH INSURANCE. DON'T KID YOURSELF. EVERYONE'S EXPECTED TO SERVE SOMEBODY IN HOLLYTOWN. AND YOU CAN'T EVEN BE IN AMERIKKKA WITHOUT BEING COMPLICIT IN SOME HEINOUS HUMAN RIGHTS EVILS DONE IN THE NAME OF EMPIRE SO DON'T EXPECT LOUIS CK TO BE ABOVE EVEN THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. / FUNNY PEOPLE ARE PARTICULARLY... ODD. WE'RE FUNNY SO WE DON'T BLOW OUR BRAINS OUT FROM DESPAIR AND DISILLUSIONMENT & IF WE'VE MANAGED TO HAVE ANY ENERGY FOR LIFE AT ALL WE TEND TO JERK OFF TO OUR OWN STICK DRAWINGS AND HUMP 3-LEGGED WASHING MACHINES DURING THE SPIN CYCLE WHEN NO ONE'S HOME. SO GRANTED WE MAY BE A LITTLE DIFFERENT BUT WE'RE NOT AS FUCKLE AS YOU FAIR-WEATHER ASSHOLES. WE'VE ALL GOT OUR NASTY LITTLE GLITCHES. / THE FUCKING INTERNET HAS MADE EVERYTHING GO TO SHIT. TECH HAS KILLED ALL MUSIC ART MOVIES BOOKS PRIVACY PORN SEX JOURNALISM JOBS SPONTANEITY KINDNESS CONNECTION KISSING HUMANITY SAN FRANCISCO NEW YORK CITY SEATTLE OREGON AND ANYWHERE ANYTHING AND ALL OF WHAT MAKES LIFE WORTH ACTUALLY LIVING AND TURNED US ALL INTO PATHETIC BRANDING HUSTLERS WITH SHINY BULLSHIT TEMPLATE WEBSITES THAT LOOK THE SAME WITH NOTHING BEHIND THE WORDS AND PHOTOSHOPPED PHOTOS BUT EVEN MORE BULLSHIT AND OUR HEARTS ARE BROKEN AND YET WE'RE NOW DOWN TO CURATING TO/CATERING TO MIDDLE SCHOOL ASSHOLES YOU'D NEVER EVEN TALK TO IN REAL LIFE WITH ALL THIS SOCIAL MEDIA BULLSHIT AND GOSSIP AND CLICK BAIT THINKING WITH NOTHING BUT MORE BULLSHIT. / YOU KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO DO COMEDY OR DO ANYTHING DIFFERENT LIKE EVEN STAND UP FOR JUSTICE AND AGAINST EVERYONE ELSE AND IT'S WHY CHELSEA MANNING HAD OVARIES ENOUGH FOR A HUNDRED WOMEN AND WHY SHE WENT MAD RATHER THAN GIVE IN AND SIT BACK AT THE TABLE AND BE GOOD. IT MAKES YOU JITTERY AND EXCITED AND MADDENING TO GO AGAINST. YOU DEVELOP A TASTE FOR IT. I CALL IT GOD. BUT MOST CALL IT A GLITCH THAT USUALLY COMES OUT IN SETTING THINGS ON FIRE BUT POINTING TO A NORTH STAR IT MAKES LOVE PRETTY FUCKING FIERCE AND NIPPLES HARD WITH LIFE AND NOT ABOUT CUTE KITTY CATS BUT ABOUT STANDING UP FOR SOME FUCKING WHITE GUY WITH A YACHT HE STEERS INTO MUD WHILE I'M BROKE ASS AND ABOUT TO MOVE THE HOMELESS OUT OF THE WAY IN FRONT OF MY DOOR IN THE MISSION FOR A PLACE ON THE SIDEWALK OF MY OWN. NAH. NO DICE. I'M NOT QUITE THERE YET. TRYING AGAIN SOMETHING WRONG LIKE TRYING FOR LIFE OFF THIS INTERFUCKING NET OF EVIL & IT'S A FICKLE PISSY BITCH & YOU LIVE BY THE INTERNET YOU DIE BY THE INTERNET. LOUIS CK & THE OTHER PARIAHS ARE NOW LIKE THE SMOKERS. THE ONLY PEOPLE WORTH TALKING TO BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT HOLIER THAN THOU LIKE THE INTERNET A WORLD FULL OF NOTHING BUT EX SMOKING TROLLS. THAT SHIT KILLED EVERYTHING COOL GOOD NEW AND INTERESTING / ESPECIALLY COMEDY HIP HOP AND SLOW SEX BECAUSE NO ONE'S GOT ANY ATTENTION SPANS OR GODDAMN STAMINA FOR ANYTHING LONGER THAN 1/3 OF THE WAY INTO A PORN CLIP. AND NOW IT'S AFTER WHAT'S LEFT OF YOUR NATURAL SPONTANEOUS HARD ONS. WE NEED OUR OWN ISLAND OF MISFIT TOYS WITH OUR OWN SPEAKEASIES WHERE LIKE HARRIET TUBMAN WE BLOW THE BRAINS OUT OF ANYONE SMUGGLING IN A FUCKING CAMERA. CAMERAS ARE ONLY EVER USED FOR EVIDENCE. EVEN IF JUST TO PROVE TO YOURSELF YOU MUST'VE HAD A GOOD TIME. / PAN OPTICON. CAMERAS SHOULD BE SEEN AS TREASONOUS AND BORING CONVERSATION KILLERS. PEOPLE WITH SMART PHONES IN MY WORLD ARE LIKE CORPORATE POD STEPFORD WIVE MODEL #19 FROM TWILIGHT ZONE BODY SNATCHER CYBORG RAT FINK NARC ZOMBIE BEACONS OF CUBICLE CONFORMITY & DEATH TO AVOID. THEY'RE NO FUCKING FUN FOR STARTERS. WHEN THESE COMPUTERING PEOPLE AREN'T TAKING PHOTOS OF THEIR FOOD THEY GO OUT TO CONCERTS JUST THEY TAKE UP ALL THE BEST SPACE IN FRONT OF THE SPEAKERS TAKING FUCKING PHOTOS & NOT EVEN LISTENING OR FEELING A THING AND LIKE CONDOMS PREVENT US FROM FEELING ALL THE SWEATY WET GOODNESS. / NEXT THING I DO WILL BE OFFLINE & LOCAL & YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME OR GET ANY OF THIS SHIT IN CHINA. WORD OF MOUTH & I HAVE TO LIKE YOU. NO CATERING TO DOUCHE BAGS. I AND IT WILL BE A SECRET AND SOMEHOW I WILL BE SUCCESSFUL. I KNOW. I THINK I'M FULL OF MAD CRAZY SHIT TOO. BUT I HATE THIS EVIL PISSY FICKLE INTERNET OF PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE FUCKS WHO CAN'T LOOK INTO EYES AND KISS HARD ENOUGH TO GO MAD INTO ANOTHER FUCKING PLANET WITHOUT GOING COMPLETELY INSANE BECAUSE IT WAS UNPLANNED LIKE A FUCKING WELL WORN TEXT OR BULLSHIT CURATED PROFILE. YES. KENDRICK LAMAR IS SPEAKING IN TONGUE WHEN HE CRAVES STRETCHMARKS OF LOVE FUCKING AND REALITY OVER PHOTOSHOP. THIS SHIT IS PLAYED OUT. GOING OFF ROAD IN LIFE. REMEMBER PEOPLE? COMEDIANS? THE SPIRIT OF PRYOR CHAPELLE WITH THE UNDULATIONS OF JAMES BROWN. THAT'S REAL BLACK MAN FUCKING. IT'S NOT THE SIZE. IT'S THAT FUCKING UNDULATION. THAT SHIT IS COSMIC TRANSCENDENT + HURLS ME BOTH UP TO GOD ALL CRAZY MAD HIGH THEN SLAMS ME FACE DOWN TO THE GROUND BARKING LIKE A KITTY CAT BITCH DROWNING IN THE HOLY WET SPOT. FEAR TERROR EXCITEMENT DEATH LIFE WHAT THE FUCK AND LOVING THE TASTE OF IT... REMEMBER? IT'S WHY YOU GET ADDICTED TO THE TERROR OF STAGE AND KILLING. KILLING IS LIKE FUCKING EVERYONE IN THE AUDIENCE AT THE SAME TIME THEN COMING IN THEIR FACES. EVEN & ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE A WOMAN. I SAW SARAH SILVERMAN FUCK EVERY MAN IN THE CROWD ALL GENIUS & MAGNIFICENT LIKE BURLESQUE IN THE WILD WEST COWBOY DAYS BEFORE ELECTRICITY PHONES COMPUTERS & A LITTLE LAW AND ORDER DULLED A WOMAN'S ABILITY TO FUCK A ROOM & KEEP HER BLOOMERS ON. AND SARAH SILVERMAN WAS GIVING EVERY CONFUSED WHITE MAN IN THE AUDIENCE A LAP DANCE WITH ADORABLY RACIST JOKES THAT MADE THEM LAUGH AND COME MERRILY. AND I SAT THERE AS A COLORED WOMAN WILLING MYSELF TO BE AS INVISIBLE AS POSSIBLE. I NEVER GOT SILVERMAN BEFORE AS I SAT THROUGH THIS THREE TIMES TO SUPPORT A SISTER AND CHALLENGE WHAT I THINK IS FUNNY. BUT HER MOST ASTOUNDING FEAT TO ME WAS HER ABILITY TO CASUALLY OWN AND FUCK THE ROOM. AND I'M COOL WITH BEING A COLORED GIRL WITH BIG TITS & BREAKING DOWN ON A MOTORCYCLE DOWN IN RURAL VIRGINIA FOR A WEEK, BUT I WAS SCARED AS HELL IN SARAH SILVERMAN'S SAN FRANCISCO AUDIENCES. LIKE AFTER THE SHOW I'D BE DRAGGED BEHIND VOLVOS IN SAN FRANCISCO UP & DOWN THESE BIG HILLS TIL DEAD. SUCH FEARS ARE NOT UNFOUNDED AS I'VE ALREADY BEEN ATTACKED BY RICH WHITE GUYS FOR DANCING IN THE STREET IN MY OWN MISSION. THEY SIMPLY DON'T LIKE IT. /& THAT IS THAT. THEY USE VIOLENCE AGAINST ME EVEN THOUGH I'M 50 NOW./ DON'T LISTEN TO ME: IN THE TIME I'VE BEEN ADDING TO THIS RANT LOOK AT WHAT THE PBS/NPR PEOPLE DID TO THEIR OWN ATHEIST SANTA FUCKING CLAUS INCARNATE--GARRISON KEILLOR: BANISHED/ ANNIHILATED/ ERADICATED FROM THE NPR ARCHIVES FOR TOUCHING A WHITE WOMAN'S BACK. KA-CHING? WHAT KIND OF SALT-ENCRUSTED DEVIL WOULD HOLD SANTA CLAUS UP FOR AN ASSHOLE OPPORTUNE MOTHERFUCKING PAYOUT & FEEL PROUD OF TAKING HIM DOWN? & TO WIPE NUTELLA ON YOUR CYNICISM THEN WHO WOULD TURN THEIR COLLECTIVE ETERNALLY FUNDRAISING FEEL-GOOD SELF-HELP SEMINAR SPINELESS BACKS ON GARRISON FUCKING KEILLOR? I'M UNDERSTANDING TRUMP VOTERS' ASPIRATED RAGE MORE & MORE EVERY DAY. / SO YEAH, I DIDN'T MUCH LIKE BEING IN SARAH'S AUDS WHEN SHE'D WHIP WHITE GUYS INTO A ONCE-LATENT WHITE BOY FROTH BUT I DIDN'T TRY TO GO AROUND TO THE NYTIMES & RUIN HER OR HATE HER. & SINCE THOSE DAYS I THINK SHE'S COME INTO HER OWN & REALIZED THE POWER OF HER MAGIC & SHE'S APPARENTLY FACED HERSELF & A LOT OF PAIN & IS USING HER BEAUTY MAGIC COMEDY POWER AND SENSITIVITY TO TRY AND HEAL. WE ALL CAREEN AND MUST CAREEN AS WE DISCOVER AND PUSH OURSELVES. HAD I NEUTRALIZED SARAH SILVERMAN ...BUT YOU CANNOT FOR SHE IS NOT FOR SALE. JUST LOOK AT HER. SHE COULD TAKE IT OR LEAVE ALL THIS. BUT WE NEED TO ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO PUSH WITH LOVE. AND THAT'S WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT: KILLING. COMING IN FACES. THAT'S WHAT KILLING ON STAGE IS LIKE. LIKE FUCKING GOD & BEING CONNECTED TO EVERYONE IN A MYSTICAL WAY THAT MAKES YOU WONDER: WHY THE FUCK CAN'T WE DO THIS SHIT IN PRIVATE WITHOUT FUCKING SHIT UP? BUT COMING IN FACES IN THE BEST WAY WHERE IT'S NOT DERAGATORY LIKE CREEPY "TAKE THAT BITCH" PORN. COMING IN FACES WITH GODLIKE LOVE LIKE YOU MAKE ME SO FUCKING HAPPY I WANNA MAKE YOU LOOK FRESH YOUNG INNOCENT AND ALL STICKY AND SLIMY LIKE A NEWBORN COLT SLIPPERING AROUND IN ITS OWN PLACENTA AND AFTERBIRTH. LIFE! / IT'S SORTA WHAT I SAID TO MY SECRET LOVER MAN AT THE GYM I LOVE BUT CAN'T HAVE AND WRITE DIRTY TRUE LETTERS TO SO HE CAN TAKE IT OUT ON HIS GIRL. NOW THAT I'M TOO AFRAID TO JERK OFF TO DJ-X1'S MAD SEXY DIRTY GOOD SONGS ON MY BELOVED KPOO 89.5 FM ANYMORE EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE THE SOUNDTRACK TO MY COMEBACK AS I STEP BACK UP TO MY NINTH LIFE. I'M A LEO. I ALWAYS GET MORE. DJ-X1 WILL ALWAYS BE MY DRUMMER + I HIS DANCER AND I LOVE HIM MADLY FORFUCKINGEVER BUT I'M BACK TO MERCILESSLY JERKING OFF TO MY STAR MAN BECAUSE HE PROTECTS ME AND ALLOWS ME TO DANCE LIKE I DO AND BE AS SAFE AS IF JAMES WERE UPSTAIRS WATCHING FOR ME. / I'M SORRY LOUIS CK. I'M SORRY ALL YOU MEAT DOGS WHO TRIED TO DO SOMETHING COOL DIFFERENT HARD & BEAUTIFUL IN THIS WORLD THAT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HARD EVIL AND BORING. & TO KILL THE LAST OF THE BAD ASSES WHO ADMITTEDLY HAD SOME ASSHOLE MOMENTS BECAUSE HOW CAN YOU NOT HAVE A FEW WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO PUSH PUSH BOUNDARIES & MAKE NEW ONES & GO AGAINST THE BLAND SEXLESS DEATH OF AMERIKKKA AND ALL THAT IS GOOD ALIVE INTERESTING & NASTY. / WHEN WHITE GIRLS START WAKING UP IN SAFELY SEXLESS TENTS IN THE BLAZING MORNING SUMMER SUN FOR THE HOPES AT MAKING A PILE OF CASH IN THE TECH INDUSTRY THEY ARE WHORES EVEN THOUGH NO ONE CAME BECAUSE TECH HAS MADE EVERYTHING BUT SMARTPHONES FREE LIKE A FIRST TASTE OF HEROIN FOR OUR BAGGED AND TAGGED AND DIGITIZED AND TRACKED PAVLOVIAN SOULS. SHAME ON YOU. TO BE SO EASILY TRACKED AND TRAINED TO BEG AND JUMP. WHERE'S THE DEFIANT HARD ON LIFE AND FUCKING UP AND GOING TOO FAR AND ACCEPTING IDIOSYNCRACIES AND APOLOGIES? I WAS HEARTENED BY THE ONE FORMERLY-TRAUMATIZED WHITE GIRL WHO REALIZED SHE WAS ALSO CULPABLE FOR BEING SO PASSIVE ABOUT HER FEAR OF LOUIS CK'S HARD ON. HARD ONS ARE SCARY. THEY SHOULD BE. DONE RIGHT THEY SHOULD BE ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING & RIVETING & INSTILL DOUBT IN ALL YOU THINK YOU KNOW ABOUT WOMEN MEN GOD THE COSMOS & YOURSELF. THAT'S WHAT MAKES A GOOD ONE SO PARTICULARLY FUCKING EXCITING. & REMEMBER, THEY ARE EXCITING. THEY ARE NOT JUST THINGS TO SUCK ON YOUR WAY TO BLOOD DIAMOND RINGS & SECURITY. SECURITY IS A LIE. LOOK AT MELANIA'S DEAD EYES. IT'S HARD TO EVEN FEEL SORRY FOR HER BECAUSE I FOUND IT CYNICAL PRESUMPTUOUS FAMILIAR OUT OF PLACE FOR HER TO WEAR TIMBS TO PUERTO RICO. AND REGARDLESS OF THE PRONUNCIATION I FUCKING HATE THE WORD/PHILOSOPHY "APPROPRIATE." IT'S BEEN USED AGAINST ME ALL MY LIFE AND WAS USED AGAINST ME JUST LAST WEEK. IT'S WHAT MAKES WHITE FOLKS CALL THE COPS ON ME. BECAUSE EVEN AND ESPECIALLY THESE PBS WHITE PEOPLE HERE THINK IT IS ILLEGAL FOR THEM TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE OR FIND SOMETHING INAPPROPRIATE. SO THEY WILL CALL THE COPS ON ME / AND THE LITTLE GIRLS WHO GO INTO HOTEL ROOMS WITH LOUIS CK, A GROWN MAN, WILL RUIN HIS CAREER AS FAIR TRADE FOR SCARING THEM WITH THE REALITY OF A HARD DICK AND THE CONFUSING QUESTIONS THAT INVARIABLY FOLLOW WHEN A MAN OR WOMAN IS CONFRONTED BY THE DEMANDS OF ONE. / SEX IS SCARY. LIFE IS SCARY. AND LIFE IS HELLA INAPPROPRIATE. AND IF YOU WORK IT RIGHT YOU CAN END UP JERKING OFF TO IT. WHY SETTLE FOR SIMPLY DEALING WITH IT. SCARY CAN BE GOOD. AND FOR ALL OF US IT IS ABOUT TO GET WHOLE LOT MORE SCARY. SO YOU'VE GOTTA PRACTICE GOOD FEARS LIKE YOU PRACTICE YOUR TIGHT PUSSY MUSCLES. SO NOW IS THE TIME TO GET OVER YOUR FEAR OF HARD DICKS BECAUSE LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE A CUNT AND ALL DICKS CAN AND CRAVE TO BE MADE TO HEEL JUST LIKE HOW THE TRUEST DEEPEST FANTASY FOR ALL TRULY STRONG WOMEN IS TO FIND SOMEONE WORTHY OF BOWING AND SURRENDERING TO AND HAVING OUR HAIR PULLED AND TOLD TO EAT PIE OR FILL-IN-THE-BLANK ON WHATEVER YOUR GLITSCH IN THAT PARTICULAR MAD LIB IS / PENISES ALSO HOMONYM HEAL SOOTHE AND EXCITE AND IT'S TIME FOR YOU MEN TO GET OVER FEAR OF HAIRY PUSSIES WITH SHARP TEETH AND PUT THAT INTERNET PORN DOWN BECAUSE IT'S THROWING OFF YOUR TIMING YOU CAN'T GET BACK PROPERLY WITH ANY FAKE HARD DICK PILL. BUT GROWN FULL SLICE CHOCHAS NEED TO MAKE A COMEBACK IF YOU WOMEN WANT ACTUAL GROWN MEN TO SNARF YOU LOVE YOU & YOUR SCENT AND THROW YOU UP AGAINST THE WALL & FUCK YOU LIKE A STRANGER WITH THE PAPER TOWEL DISPENSER DIGGING INTO YOUR SHOULDER BLADES BECAUSE YOU LIE THAT THAT IS WHAT YOU ACTUALLY CRAVE. I KNOW. I KNEW YOU GIRLS IN HIGH SCHOOL & ALL AROUND AND SOMEHOW THE AMERIKKKAN WAY OF EXISTING HAS OF COURSE DICTATED HOW WE LOVE FOR WHAT WE "GET" & HOW WE FEEL ON THE OTHER SIDE. FUCK THE LONG VIEW. / AS LONG AS YOU WANT IN THEIR BORING GOLFING CLUB, THIS IS WHAT YOU WILL GET: SHIT. AND JEFF BEZOS AND ZUCKERBERG AND STEVE JOBS AND THAT SEAN PARKER GUY WHO CUT A HUGE OLD REDWOOD FOR A FUCKING FAIRY WEDDING AND TESLA DREAMS OF MARS SO'S THEY CAN LEAVE WHAT THEY'VE FUCKED BEHIND. /NAH. THESE ARE NOT YOUR HEROES. THE DIRECTION WE DON'T WANNA GO IN IS TO HAVE TRANSGENDER PEOPLE GAYS AND WOMEN IN THE ARMY KILLING MORE POOR COLORED FOLKS. REALLY? JAMES IS RIGHT: EVERYONE WANTS TO BE WHITE. EVEN GAY PEOPLE. EVERYONE. IT'S A FALLACY. YOU ALL HAVE FORGOTTEN HOW TO JERK OFF TO ALL OF LIFE / NOT JUST YOUR OWN. NEVER BEFORE HAVE I SEEN SUCH A TRAGIC NEED FOR SUSIE BRIGHT AND ON OUR BACKS AND ALL THE ONCE-ANNOYING WHITE GIRL ORGASMS AND G-SPOT SPRAY THAT USED TO ECHO AND RUN IN THE STREETS OF SAN FRANCISCO. IT'S DEAD NOW. NO ONE LOOKS UP BECAUSE YOU ALL ARE COMPUTERING EACH OTHER. SO THE MEN YOU MAKE WILL ONLY BE ABLE TO TWEET YOU AND JERK OFF TO YOU FROM AFAR BECAUSE AN ONLINE HUMANITY IS SO TERRIFYING YOU DON'T WANNA FUCK ANYTHING ANYMORE. THAT'S WHY SO MANY OF THESE STORIES OF ACTUAL TOUCHING WET NASTINESS WAS 20 YEARS AGO OR MORE. KEVIN FUCKING SPACEY HAD NO IDEA THIS SHIT WOULD COME BACK JUST FOR LYING ON A GUY. THIS IS SAD. SEX IS SCARY WRONG DIRTY WONDERFUL & CAN SCARE YOU FOR WHAT YOU SEE LEARN AND KNOW ABOUT YOURSELF. THIS IS A BAD DIRECTION TO KILL THE MEN THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE HARD ONS FOR LIFE AND DARE TO GO TOO FAR LOOK TOO DEEPLY STAY TOO LONG AND FIGHT. / I'M NOT TELLING ANYONE TO SUCK WEINSTEIN'S DICK. BUT I'M SAYING YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE BAD WITH THE GOOD AND YOU CAN'T HAVE COMPLICATED STRONG PEOPLE WHO DON'T OVER STEP. THERE HAVE TO BE OTHER WAYS THAN ERADICATING EVERYONE WHO MADE YOU FEEL SOMETHING OTHER THAN HAPPY PEACEFUL AND LIKE ONE-CLICK SHOPPING TO FEEL BETTER AND WRITING REVIEWER COMMENTS TO FEEL LIKE YOU'RE PART OF SOME COMMUNITY. / JAMES WAS RIGHT. MY JAMES. HE SAID THEY STEAL WHAT WAS YOURS & SELL IT BACK TO YOU. FACEBOOK. GENTRIFY COLONIZE EVICT EVERYONE OUT OF THEIR ACTUAL HOMES & LIVE A LIFE YOU CAN POST PHOTOS ABOUT BUT YOU'RE NEVER THERE AND TOOK EVERYTHING AWAY FROM WHO WAS REALLY THERE. / INDIAN GENOCIDE SAME GAME AS NOW. / THEY COME FOR LOUIS CK AND AL FRANKEN & THEY COME FOR ME. BECAUSE FUNNY IS DEAD. IRREVERANCE? HA. SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS AGAINST TRUMP PEOPLE AND A TRUMP WORLD ONLY GOES SO FAR BECAUSE EVERY DAY I FEEL MORE & MORE LIKE YEAH, WHAT IS THIS FREE SPEECH SHIT IF THE KKK CAN'T MARCH IN PUBLIC? & THEY WEREN'T EVEN WHITE SUPREMACISTS THAT THEY SHUT DOWN HERE IN SF. RUMORED TO BE. THE MEAN WHITE FOLKS JUST SHOWED UP. BRILLIANT. SO WE SHUT DOWN EVERYTHING GOOD FOR SO LITTLE. TOO LITTLE. SUSPICIONS AND ACCUSATONS ARE ENOUGH NOW. / WHITE GIRLS, YOU ARE MAKING IT SO'S THERE AIN'T A MAN LEFT TO FUCK. IT'S BEYOND GENDER. IT'S A FIGHT BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH AT THIS POINT. LOUIS CK'S ERECTION HAS BEEN CRAMMED BACK UP INTO HIS ABDOMINAL CAVITY WHERE THE TWO MEAN GIRLS FEEL IT BELONGS FOR NOT WAITING FOR A FUCKING ANSWER. I THINK IF THAT'S ALL IT TAKES TO UN-DO YOU, YOU NEED TO BE CULLED FROM THE HERD. ENOUGH COLORED MEN AND NOW WHITE MEAT DOG WHITE GUYS HAVE BEEN SACRIFICED AT SOME BIRTH OF A NATION KING KONG LIKE SCENE. I AM FEMALE AND I LOVE WOMEN EVEN AS I FEAR US BUT MEN HAVE BEEN MUCH MALIGNED LIKE PIGEONS RATS AND VULTURES. MEN WHITE AND BLACK AND JUST MEN MEN MEN HAVE DONE SO MUCH TO LET ME BE DIFFERENT AS A WOMAN AND THEY'VE TAUGHT ME TO HAVE HONOR AND HOLD ONTO MY EPIC SENSE OF ROMANCE AND DRAMA EVEN AS SOME WERE OUT TO INITIALLY RAPE OR AT LEAST LIE ON TOP OF ME. WOW. MEN'S SEXUALITY IS SCARY, EVEN TO OTHER MEN AS YOU ALSO SEE, BUT IT'S ALSO MYSTICAL WHEN YOU LEARN TO RIDE IT INSTEAD OF DEMAND IT CONFORMS TO YOUR UNDERSTANDING OR FEARS AND LIMITATIONS. YOU COULD SAY THAT ABOUT ALL OF US. I'M TIRED OF WHITE GIRLS STARTING OUT AS WILLING WHORES THEN BECOMING INDIGNANT FEMINISTS IN THEIR FORTIES WHEN THE SWAG TAP DRIES. I'M SAD THAT REESE WITHERSPOON WASN'T WHO I THOUGHT SHE WAS FROM BRAD WYMAN'S AND MATT BRIGHT'S MOVIE "FREEWAY." BUT A LOT OF THE RETALIATION YOU'RE SEEING IS WOMEN'S DESPAIR THAT THEY, TOO, ARE NOT THE WOMEN THEY THOUGHT THEY WERE WHEN SUDDENLY FACED WITH THE EXISTENTIAL QUESTIONS OF AN UNEXPECTEDLY ERECT PENIS IN THEIR MIDST. & PEOPLE WILL DESTROY YOU IF YOU REFLECT BACK ANOTHER REALITY ALTOGETHER. LIKE THEY'RE WEAK AND HAVE NO REAL TRUE BACKBONE IN A PINCH. IT'S ALL A FICTION. THEY'LL KILL YOU FOR LESS. TRUST ME. I KNOW. / BUT "FREEWAY." SO SAD... IT WAS AMONG MY FAVORITES TIL I REALIZED SHE REALLY WAS NO RUTH GORDON. JUST ACTING AT BEING A BAD ASS AND ONLY SPOKE OUT DECADES LATER WHEN OTHERS DID. LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. THAT'S SOME WHITE GIRL SHIT TO HAVE GOOD WITCH/BAD WITCH GWYNETH & ANGELINA THE DARK ONE SAY "IT STOPS NOW!" TWENTY SOME YEARS AFTER THE FACT & STILL GET ON THE FRONT PAGE OF THE TIMES FOR BEING SO "COURAGEOUS." THAT'S WHITE GIRLS FOR YOU IN AMERIKKA. BUT FUCK THE TIMES: THEY WERE ALL PUSSIES & WHORES. EVEN ROSE MCGOWAN WHO I ACTUALLY NOW FINALLY SEE AS A GODDESS EVEN THOUGH I HAVEN'T YET FORGIVEN HER ACT OF TREASON FOR SHTUPPING ROBERT RODRIGUEZ AND TAKING HIM FROM HIS WIFE. THAT'S NOT SISTERHOOD, MAMI. I DON'T TAKE RODRIGUEZ FROM BLAME BUT I EXPECT MORE EVEN FROM THE SISTERS WHO CHANGE SIDES CONVENIENTLY & I KNOW MY FEMINIST ABC'S MORE THAN A LOT OF YOU ACADEMIC FUCKS WHO FELCH FOR TENURE SO SHUT THE HELL UP. BUT IN A BUST INTERVIEW ROSE MCGOWAN ONLY CALLS OUT THE WOMEN WHO'RE SKEEVY & NOT THE MEN WHEN THE GRINDHOUSE SCREENPLAYS STARTED OUT SKEEVY FROM JUMP BECAUSE I'D SEEN AN ADVANCE COPY AND THOUGHT IT SOUNDED LIKE TARANTINO HAD WRITTEN HIS MOVIE AS A PITCH FOR PENTHOUSE FORUM CIRCA SCHOOL YEAR 1976-77. BOTH TARANTINO'S AND RODRIGUEZ'S SCREENPLAYS FOR GRINDHOUSE HADN'T EVEN MADE IT PAST ELEMENTARY SCHOOL FEARS OF PUSSY WITH TEETH & WERE BRUTALLY & SHAMELESSLY MISOGYNISTIC IN A CALIGULA WAY WORSE THAN WHAT WEINSTEIN APPARENTLY DID TO MCGOWAN ET AL SO ISN'T EVEN "I WAS JUST PETTIN' IT, GEORGE" PRE-POST PRODUCTION INVOLVEMENT IN THIS SHIT KINDA COMPLICIT? SO WHERE IS THIS LINE BETWEEN OUR FANTASY OF WHO WE ARE AND WHO WE THINK WE ARE, SUPPOSED TO START? OR END? ARE WE MORE CONSISTENT THAN WE REALIZE? WEINSTEIN'S RAPING MCGOWAN FOR REAL WHILE SHE'S FUCKING THE DIRECTOR BEHIND HIS WIFE'S BACK AND SHE'S DANCING ON SCREEN FOR US TO JERK OFF TO SO SHE CAN LOSE A LEG AND REPLACE IT WITH A MACHINE GUN IN A MOVIE WE'RE SUPPOSED TO PAY TO WATCH AND PEOPLE PAY MORTGAGES AND HEALTH INSURANCE BRINGING THIS SHIT TO US. WHO'S THE WHORE? WHERE'S THE LINE? WHERE'S ALL THIS SUPPOSED LOVE AND RESPECT FOR WOMEN SUPPOSED TO EVEN START? - HR? -SOME OFFSHORE ACCOUNT? -OUTER SPACE? THERE IS NO CHOCOLATE IN THIS CHOCOLATE BAR. NO WONDER SEAN YOUNG WOULD SNAP AGAINST THIS BULLSHIT HYPOCRISY. SO THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE A DOUBLE FEATURE/STANDARD WITH ALL THIS BASHING OF WOMEN'S HEADS AGAINST THE DASHBOARDS OF CARS TO GET THEM TO STOP SCREAMING & THE KIND OF FEMALE FRIENDS WHO'LL LEAVE A GIRL ALONE WITH THE DROOLING CREEPY FAT STRANGER IN OVERALLS & A CHAINSAW UP HIS ASS OR SOMETHING I DON'T FUCKING REMEMBER BECAUSE LIFE IS TOO SHORT. SO WHERE'S ALL THIS SUPPOSED RESPECT FOR ANY ONE OF US ANY THING OR IDEA SUPPOSED TO EVEN COME FROM? THIS IS WHAT WE SELL YOU WHILE IN THE BACKGROUND YOU EXPECT THE PRODUCER WHO FUNDED THIS SHIT TO SERVE YOU TEA & SIT IN AN S-CURVE? PLEASE. THIS HAS ALL THE DISCONNECTED UNREALITY OF AMERIKKKA'S VISION OF ITSELF AFTER HUNDREDS OF YEARS OF NATIVE & BLACK GENOCIDE & THE EVIL PRISON INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX & CAPITALIZATION / EXPLOITATION OF ANYTHING HOLY THAT CAN BE MONETIZED. SO THAT WAS MY PROBLEM WITH MCGOWAN'S CALLING OUT THE POOR FEMALE SHMUCKS INSTEAD OF THE GUYS WITH THIS ENLIGHTENED "VISION" IN CINEMA EVERYONE WAS FUNDING FOLLOWING AND FUCKING. I COULDN'T FINISH THE SCRIPTS WITHOUT A DEEP EXISTENTIAL NAUSEA THAT THIS IS THE SHIT THAT GETS MADE & SUPPED UP IN AMERIKKKA LIKE BLOOD WITH HOT BUTTERED BISCUITS SO WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING HERE? BUT LIFE HAS A WAY OF SURPRISING WITH HOW THINGS TURN OUT LATELY & SO I'M GLAD THAT ROSE MCGOWAN IS MORE "FREEWAY'S" VANESSA LUTZ CHARACTER THAN REESE WITHERSPOON EVER ACTUALLY WAS AND SHE'S A FUCKING HERO PRECISELY BECAUSE SHE'S GOT NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE. BEAUTIFUL. THIS ART STORY SHIT IS REAL. THAT'S WHY YOU'VE GOTTA BE CAREFUL THE TALES YOU TELL BECAUSE YOU WILL LIVE BY THEM. THEY ARE MAGIC. ALL WRITERS WILL ADMIT THIS DEEP WRITING SHIT IS SCARY TRIPPY AND IT GETS TO BEING LIKE A OUIJIA BOARD BUT I CAN'T BLAME THE BOARD FOR ALL THIS. I'VE FUCKING GOTTA OWN IT WITH MY FUCKING DRIVERS LICENSE PICTURE AND TRUE WEIGHT. SO ROSE MCGOWAN IS A REAL SUPERHERO FREAK OF THE KIND YOU NEED AS SHE RISES TO THE FIGHTS [OTHERS CAN'T STOMACH IMAGINE OR COME BACK FROM] WITH AN UNAPOLGETICALLY FIERCE AND PISSED OFF RABID BEAUTY BECAUSE MOST WOMEN PEOPLE FUCK WITH IN PRIVATE GO CRAZY OR THEY THINK IS CRAZY LIKE SEAN YOUNG.
I ALWAYS FIGURED SEAN YOUNG WAS FUCKED WITH & NO ONE WANTED TO HEAR BECAUSE WE ALL GET THIS "FUCK YOU AND YOUR ARTIFICIAL LIVES YOUR HUSBAND'S FUCKING THE LIVESTOCK" LOOK IN OUR EYES FROM TRYING TO PLAY THE SECRET BASEMENT DARK OF NIGHT ROLES YOU NEED US TO PLAY IN YOUR "I CARE WHAT EVERYONE THINKS ABOUT ME" FARCE./
I WRITE THIS ON MY OWN SITE BECAUSE I HATE THE INTERNET AND I HAVE NOTHING TO SELL ANYMORE EVEN THOUGH I'M BROKE ASS. I'M FREE. WELL JAMES IS THINKING OF ENGLAND FOR ME. NO ONE'S FREE AND ESCAPES CAPITALISM. NOT ANYMORE. NOT WITH GENTRIFICATION. NOWHERE CHEAP. / BUT SINCE EVERYONE IS A FAMOUS MOVIE STAR NOW AND ART BOOKS MUSIC COST NOTHING TO MAKE & ARE FREE I'LL GIVE YOU THIS BOOK I WROTE BEFORE I QUIT THE GAME OF PAYING BILLS. SI SE PUEDE YES YES YES YOU CAN MAKE IT PAST TRIGGERS THAT MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. NO MORE FRAGILITY. YOU CANNOT BE CONNED IF YOU DON'T WANT ANYTHING. THE GAME FEMINISTS WANT TO BELONG TO IS THE "I WANT ALL THE SHIT TOO" DEATH GAME. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT WHEN YOU WANT IN THAT CLUB? WHERE IS THE JUSTICE FOR THE POOR AND WEAK INSTEAD OF I GOT MINE. FUCK YOU TECH WOMEN WHO WANT WHAT THE DEAD EYED GUYS GOT. FUCK YOU. THIS AIRBNB KALINACK UBER TWITTER GOSSIP ZUCKERBERG LOOK AT ME I'M NOT WHERE I AM / "GET UP OLD MAN BEFORE I FUCK YOU RIGHT THERE" WORLD... FUCK YOU ALL. / I AM SORRY THERE ARE NOT MORE HARD ONS BLOWING GENTLY IN THE BREEZE LIKE IOWA WHEAT INSTEAD DOWN EMPTY STREETS LIKE ARIZONA TUMBLEWEED. I WILL DO MY JOB AS A FEMALE WHO BELIEVES IN THE EROTIC POWER OF LIFE & STAY OFF THE SMARTPHONE TEAT AND OUT OF THE MODEL #19 TWILIGHT ZONE STEPFORD BODY SNATCHED BORG TO STAY A DESIGNATED DRIVER REGARDING OUR HUMANITY SO I JUST MIGHT WHIP IT OUT & COME IN OTHERS' FACES INSTEAD OF ALL OVER MY OWN SOFT DOUGHY STOMACH. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. HE DIDN'T EVEN TOUCH ANYONE. WHY MUST WHITE GIRLS BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE FEELING SOME KIND OF WAY? AND BITCHY MEAN TWO GIRLS WHO GIGGLED AND FROZE AND WERE TERRIFIED OF LOUIS CK'S HARD ON... YOU ALL LOOK AT THEIR FACES. WHAT WILL THEY CREATE? THEY EXIST TO TEAR DOWN. THE ONE GIRL PRACTICALLY HAS THAT WHITE GIRL "EW" SNEER ETCHED IN HER FACE. AND SO LITTLE TOOK DOWN LOUIS CK WHO TOOK WHAT IS BEST OF THE INTERNET AND DID HIS CAREER HIS WAY AND FOUND HIS OWN PLACE. AND YOU KILL HIM BECAUSE YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE. FUCKIN' HELL. THE WAY WHITE WOMEN GET ANGRY. AND LAURA SILVERMAN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU TELLING TALES OUT OF SCHOOL IN THE NEW YORK FUCKING TIMES? LADIES THIS IS WHY MEN PAY HOOKERS TO LICK THEIR ASSHOLES AND CALL THEM MARTHA AND YOU'VE GOTTA LET 'EM IF YOU'RE GONNA BROADCAST THEIR SECRETS SO CASUALLY OR RIDICULE THEM FOR IT IN THE INTERNATIONAL PRESS. IT'S ONLY FAIR. DAMN. WHAT A WAY TO ENSURE NO ONE EVER TELLS YOU NADA. / WOW... HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WHITE GIRL NOT EVEN SCORNED BECAUSE THEY WILL LYNCH A BROTHER FOR NOT WHISTLING LOUD ENOUGH. WHY DO YOU WHITE BOYS THINK IT WILL BE ANY DIFFERENT FOR YOU? CALL IT OBVIOUS KARMA PHYSICS CHICKENS ROOSTING ARMAGEDDON KALI YUGA END OF TIMES CALL IT WHATEVER YOU WANT: BUT PAYBACK IS A MOTHERFUCKIN BITCH & THE MARGIN CALLS ARE IN. THIS IS WHY THE INDIANS HAVE BEEN JUMPING UP + DOWN TRYING TO POUND ON THE TEST TUBE GLASS OF THIS EVIL EXPERIMENT + SCREAM A THOUSAND DIFFERENT WAYS NOT TO SHIT IN THE WATER POISON EVERYTHING KILL EVERYTHING DAM/N EVERYTHING & FUCK THE LIVESTOCK TO THE BRINK OF DEATH + SPRINKLE YOUR OWN PRINGLE JISM ALL OVER THEIR BATTERED & TATTERED BODIES JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN. / AT 50 I FINALLY GET BALDWIN + WHAT HE KEPT TRYING TO PATIENTLY EXPLAIN HIS ENTIRE LIFE: WHEN YOU DEMEAN OTHERS YOU DEMEAN YOURSELF. YOUR WOMEN. YOUR CHILDREN. YOU SHIT IN YOUR OWN GLASS WHEN YOU OTHER EVERYTHING + NIGGIFY THE WORLD. YOU NIGGIFY YOURSELF. WHEN YOU ENCOURAGE YOUR WOMEN TO LYNCH BLACK MEN TO DEFEND THEIR HONOR & HAND OFF YOUR OWN CHILDREN TO BE BORNE SUCKLED RAISED SOLD EXPLOITED KILLED BY OTHERS & TAUGHT TO DO THE SAME:
YOUR WOMEN WILL POWDER THEIR NOSES W/YOUR DESICCATED TESTICLES & WEAR WHAT'S LEFT IN A LOCKET AROUND THEIR SHRIVELED NECKS, THE LIVESTOCK WILL LEARN TO SPEAK IN LANGUAGES ONCE UNFATHOMABLE & YOUR CHILDREN WILL EAT YOU. TRUST THAT. . . AND NEITHER MARS NOR THE MOON CAN WELCOME YOU NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU WOO EITHER ONE./ SO LADIES I HOPE YOU GOT THE REPARATIONS YOU WERE LOOKING FOR IN ALL THIS AS YOU ARE GENERALLY SAFE FROM MASHERS AS JEFF BEZOS THE CRIMINALLY INSANE & THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES ARE THE ONLY ONES LEFT WHO'LL GRAB PUSSY NOW. NO ONE WILL SAY SHIT. THEY WANT A SHITTY JOB FROM BEZOS AND TRUMP HAS HIS OWN BERMUDA TRIANGLE OF REALITY WHERE EVEN THE WATER GOES DOWN THE DRAIN IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION FOR HIM & FOR EVERY WOMAN WHO'D CLAIM TRUMP GRABBED HER CROTCH HE'D GET ANOTHER 4 YEARS IN OFFICE AND JERK OFF ON ALL THE BIG DEAD ELEPHANTS WITH HIS TINY LITTLE DUSTY PRINGLE HANDS. & A MAN LIKE BEZOS ONLY LOOKS THINKS & ACTS LIKE A DICK; HE DOESN'T HAVE ONE OR USE HIS. HE'S GOT A KEN DOLL MOUND A NUB THAT EVERY MAYOR IS TRYING TO COURT RUB SUCK HUMP GNAW TO MAKE THAT WEASEL POP LIKE SOME EXCALIBUR GENIE FOR SHITTY PART TIME SEASONAL JOBS TO RAIN DOWN ON THEIR POPULACE LIKE PHLEGM. & BEZOS' WIFE HAS NO MATA HARI INSIGHT TO SHARE ON THE LOW BECAUSE EVEN SHE CAN'T FIGURE OUT THE NUB: A NEGLIGEE WON'T CUT IT & THERE IS NO TINY SWIRLING TONGUE FLICKER OR T'AINT MASSAGE FOREPLAY MOVE SHE CAN PICK UP FROM COSMO ME OR EVEN THE WRITING ON THEIR OWN BATHROOM WALL: SHE WOULD HAVE TO DECIMATE THE U.S. POSTAL & EDUCATIONAL SYSTEMS ALONG WITH OUR ENTIRE HEALTH CARE INDUSTRY FOR HIM TO COME UP 3 CHERRIES BING! BING! BING! & THUS ANY PROGYNY ARE ROBOTS OR FROM THE PROVERBIAL NEGRO IN THE PROVERBIAL WOODPILE. / SAVE YOUR SOULS: IT IS TIME FOR LIFE TO CONTINUE IN REAL LIFE & OFFLINE IN SECRET. IT IS TIME TO SHUN THOSE WITH THE FUCKING CAMERAS OUT ALL THE TIME AS TRAITORS TO ACTUAL REAL SPONTANEOUS INTERACTION. WHITE GIRLS MAKE MEN THEY DON'T EVENTUALLY WANNA FUCK. NOR DOES ANYONE ELSE WANT TO WHEN THEY'RE DONE WITH THEM. MEN YEAH EVEN THE SO-CALLED MONSTER PERVERTS THEY ARE HUMAN BEINGS. AND MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HUNT DICKS WHEN YOU'RE SENDING SELFIES OF YOUR PUSSY TO THE PLUMBER. / THE WORLD IS PLENTY SCARY & WHAT YOU THINK IS ACTUALLY SAFE IS ACTUALLY SCARIER. I REGRET THE INNOCENT AWKWARD SEX I WAS TOO OBLIVIOUS OR SCARED TO HAVE. DON'T MAKE THAT MISTAKE. AND YOU DON'T WANT TO ERADICATE THE FREAKS WHO ACTUALLY KNOW HOW TO PUSH BOUNDARIES AND CAN LEAD YOU PAST THE WORST SCARY PARTS OF BEING EVEN PARTIALLY HUMAN IN A COUNTRY WHERE WE'RE ALL NIGGERS NOW. / AND AL FRANKEN: DO YOU SEE WHY MONTY PYTHON WOULDN'T LET GIRLS IN THEIR REINDEER GAMES? BECAUSE GIRLS CAN'T TAKE A FUCKING JOKE AND RUIN EVERYTHING. /IT'S TIME TO START OUR OWN UNDERGROUND OFFLINE AND MAKE THINGS INTERESTING AGAIN. WELL I'M ALREADY IN MY OWN WORLD HERE WITH JAMES. I'M GOOD BUT I MISS THE KIND OF ART GUYS WHO ASK IF THEY CAN MAKE PLASTER CASTS OF YOUR PUSSY SO'S THEY CAN GET TO KNOW YOU. I MISS THAT KINDA SMALL TALK. THIS TECH WORLD BEING GRADE SCHOOL IN PERPETUITY SUCKS. THAT'S WHY I DON'T BOTHER TO EDIT THIS DOWN. IF YOU'RE TWITCHY AND HALF DEAD THIS ISN'T FOR YOU. I DON'T WANT TO BE 2-D SAFE ACCESSIBLE OR EASY TO READ AT ALL / I WANT YOU TO HAVE TO WADE THROUGH THE TRAUMATIZING LAYERS OF COMPLEXITY THAT IS ME AND MY LIFE. YOU HAVE TO BE WITH ME IN MY WORLD EVEN THOUGH I WRITE THIS MY WAY IN YOURS. / THIS IS: IT'S A KISS BLOWN TO LOUIS CK BECAUSE HE'S THE KIND OF GUY WHO WHO'LL TWIST UP TRYING TO BE THE MAN YOU THINK HE SHOULD BE AND TAKE IT PERSONALLY IF HE CAN'T. I ACTUALLY WORRY ABOUT HIM ABOVE ANYONE ELSE CAUGHT UP IN THIS DICK HUNT. / BUT IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR DOWN, TO PROVE THERE IS LIFE BEYOND YOUR FEAR OF HARD PENISES AND THE HAVOC THEY CAN WREAK, YOU CAN HAVE MY LAST AND FINAL BOOK THAT WAS THE PRELUDE TO MY LIVING SUICIDE AFTER I LOST EVERYTHING I THOUGHT I WAS OR WAS HERE TO BE OR DO: "THE GIRL MUST DIE," BUT IN PDF FORM [I SAY "BUT" BECAUSE THE BLACK VELVET EDITION OF THE BOOK RAPES ANYTHING + EVERYTHING DIGITAL IN ITS EYE SOCKETS & LEAVES IT FOR DEAD]. ENJOY AND GOOD LUCK OUT THERE. IF YOU GET SO SAD YOU FEEL DESPAIR AND WANNA DIE, THEN YOU'RE AT THE MOST INTERESTING PLACE WHEN YOU CONSIDER WHAT YOU WOULD DO IF YOU WERE DEAD BUT GOT TO STICK AROUND IN YOUR OWN CURRENT BODY WITHOUT HAVING TO SPEND ALL YOUR TIME MAKING SURE ANYONE/EVERYONE LIKES YOU. TRY IT. I AM ALIVE AGAIN ANEW AS SOMEONE ELSE. WHO I WAS BEFORE IS DEAD. / & I DON'T CARE IF YOU ALL GET MY LITTLE SISTER TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME I TAUGHT HER HOW TO JERK OFF WITH THE SHOWER MASSAGE AND WATCHED HER COME LIKE OH MY GOD IT WORKED. AS LONG AS MY SISTER CAN MAKE HERSELF COME SHE IS STRONG AND SAFE. THAT WAS ALL I COULD DO TO PROTECT HER BUT SHE THINKS IT WAS THAT TIME I PUNCHED THE GIRL MY AGE WHO WAS BULLYING HER. NO. I'M PROUDEST I TAUGHT HER TO JERK OFF TO WHATEVER'S AT HAND, WHOEVER'S IN MIND. WE'RE HALF WHITE AND MY SISTER GOT JUST ABOUT ALL MY MOM'S PHYSICALLY AWKWARD GERMAN WHITENESS BUT I SAVED HER FROM COMPLETE LACK OF RHYTHM BY TEACHING HER TO COME AT HER OWN HAND. BUT GLORIA CHAMBERS TAUGHT MY BEST FRIEND LISA AND ME THE SAME WHEN I WAS 10 BUT WITH LYING UNDERNEATH THE FULL-RUNNING BATH SPIGOT. SAID IT WAS LIKE BEING EATEN OUT. FOR YEARS AFTER THAT I WAS CURIOUS FOR TO KNOW IF THAT WAS TRUE. BUT, NAH. TOO UNSPECIFIC FOR MOI. I LIKE MY TINY LITTLE CLITORIS SUCKED IN HARD SO I CAN COME FAST AND LOUD. JUST LIKE A GOOD BORICUA GIRL SHOULD, ESPECIALLY NOW. BECAUSE WE ARE OFFICIALLY FULT TILT BOOGIE SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BULLSHIT AGE. GET READY FOR A LONG SLOG TO THE OTHER SIDE. PROTECT YOUR LIFE FORCE IN THE MEANTIME. COMMIT A LIVING SUICIDE & MESS THINGS UP BEAUTIFULLY AND WATCH WHAT HAPPENS. HAVE AN ADVENTURE. SPOOGE INDISCRIMINATELY & APOLOGIZE LATER. FUCKING CONSENT. LIFE DOES NOT ASK FOR FUCKING CONSENT. AND LOUIS CK YOU ARE NOT DONE. YOU MADE THE INTERNET YOUR BITCH IN A HOT SECOND. NOW GO BIGGER. DO SOMETHING OFFLINE. SOMEWHERE SECRET. WITH THE OTHER SMOKERS. YOU CAN'T RUN IN FRONT OF THE STORY AT THIS POINT... BUT YOU ALWAYS CAN. REMEMBER? THIS IS WHAT COMEDY RESISTANCE AND LIFE IS TRULY ABOUT. DON'T LET LENNIE BRUCE DIE FOR THE FUCKING CUTE STORY. NON ARTISTS JERK OFF TO OUR SIMPLEST STORIES WE GIVE EVERYTHING UP FOR TO LIVE. DON'T BE A CUTE STORY. COMEDY IS ABOUT ALWAYS PUSHING THE NEXT BOUNDARY... OWN IT. RUN IN FRONT OF THE STORY. GO OFF. SHAVE YOUR HEAD. REFLECT. OWN IT. THEN LAUGH ON A MOUNTAIN & JERK OFF & OWN THAT, TOO. THAT'S YOUR LIFE FORCE. NOW PEOPLE WHO STICK AROUND HAVE THE NYTIMES ARTICLE AS THE ALL ENCOMPASSING RELEASE FORM POSTED OUTSIDE YOUR FUTURE. SO BE FREE. RELAX: IF YOU JERK OFF FROM HERE ON OUT, THEY HAD IT COMING. BE CRUSTY. BE A MAN. BE HUMAN. BE IMPERFECT. BUT DON'T KILL THE HARD ONS. NO LOVE IS WORTH THAT FOR THEN IT IS HARDLY LOVE. IT IS A FORM OF SUBMISSION INTO THE REALM OF DEATH. DARE TO BE HATED FOR THAT IS THE ONLY WAY TO BE TRULY FREE. / LIKE COLIN KAEPERNICK. HE JUST GOT A SACRED EAGLE FEATHER TODAY AT THE SUNRISE CEREMONY ON ALCATRAZ FOR BEING A WARRIOR. / BUT FOR THE REST OF YOU READ BUKOWSKI. LORD IS IT TIME FOR EVERYONE TO READ BUKOWSKI AGAIN. YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK BUKOWSKI. YOU ALL ARE TOO DAMN AFRAID OF A LITTLE BIT OF PUSSY HAIR: IT'S TIME FOR EVERYONE TO GET REMEDIAL AND START WITH ENTIRE ISSUES OF PENTHOUSE CIRCA THE 1976-77 SCHOOL YEAR, INCLUDING THE OLD GRANNY CARTOONS AND SPANISH FLY ADS IN BACK; AND IF YOU'RE IN THE ADVANCED TRACK JUMP UP TO HUSTLERS OF THE SAME TIME RIGHT BEFORE LARRY FLYNT GOT SHOT IN '78 AND FOUND GOD AND TRIED TO CRAM IT BACK INTO PUSSY IN A WAY ONLY A WHITE GUY COULD DO AND MAKE IT WINDOWLESS-VAN-CREEPY.. BUT THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE ISN'T IT? ; AND FINALLY IF YOU'RE AT HONORS LEVEL SNARF UP SOME OLD ISSUES OF PLAYERS MAGAZINE SAME ERA TO SEE WHAT KENDRICK LAMAR IS SCREAMING IN TONGUE FOR. / TOLD YOU I WAS AN ODD KID. NEVERTHELESS IT IS TIME TO LIVE PUSH TEST & MOST OF ALL FORGIVE. FORGIVE YOURSELF YOUR OWN GLITCHES AND FORGIVE OTHERS THEIRS. WE ARE ALL KIN. NO ONE'S A MONSTER. HAVEN'T YOU HAD FANTASIES OF FUCKING MONSTERS? HA. THERE ARE NO MONSTERS. BECAUSE EVEN MONSTERS HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF BABIES TO REPLACE THEM AND THUS THEY CANNOT BE TRUE MONSTERS THEN CAN THEY? JAMES USED TO TELL ME THAT WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS BORN AS A MISTAKE. AN ABERRATION THAT SHOULD DIE OUT BY PICKING A FIGHT WITH SOMEONE COMPUTERING AT ME WITH A MOTHERFUCKING PHONE INVADING MY PRIVACY IN PUBLIC. AND THEN JAMES WAS SAD I FELT THAT WAY AND SAID I AM NATURE'S WAY OF REASSERTING ITSELF AND I FOUND THAT DRIED MY TEARS QUITE NICELY ONCE SO I TOOK THIS LIVING SUICIDE AS A FORM OF PUBLIC SERVICE OF FIERCE HARSH FIGHTING LOVE MORE SERIOUSLY. I LIKE HAVING A NEW CHALLENGE. AND EMBARRASSING MYSELF WITH GUSHING BIG YELLOW MEAT DOG LOVE IS THRILLING. AND I'M NEVER WEAK. EARNING THE RIGHT TO HAVE ME FOLLOW LOVE ADORE CRAWL BEHIND ON MY KNEES & GUSH OVER YOU IS CONSTANT. THE MOMENT IT'S ABOUT SHTICK + EGO I'LL CALL YOU OUT. BUT SURRENDERING TO A HIGHER VISION THAN BEING JUST A GOOD AMERIKKKAN CONSUMER IS HOT. I THINK YOU'VE GOTTA JERK OFF TO PRACTICE GOING THERE. MAYBE I'M MAKING IT UP TO TRY AND MAKE PEOPLE HAPPIER SO THEY'LL STOP BEING SO EVIL BUREAUCRATIC Y BITCHY. FORGIVE LOUIS CK & WEINSTEIN AND ALL OUR BROTHERS SONS FATHERS FRIENDS LOVERS. THEY WANNA LOVE US EPIC BACK. MEN ARE SUPPOSED TO WORK CRAPPY DANGEROUS JOBS & ETERNALLY TAKE IT ON THE CHIN & DONATE THEIR LIVES + SOULS TO WORTHLESS CAUSES JUST SO'S WE CAN HAVE ALL OUR STUPID SHIT. THEY NONE OF THEM ARE MONSTERS. SO YOU WILL LIVE THROUGH YOUR FEAR OF HAPPENING UPON ANOTHER HARD ON UNEXPECTED. LEARN TO SMILE FOR IT IS A FORM OF APPLAUSE AT YOUR EXISTENCE. HOW YOU HANDLE IT IS UP TO YOU & WHO YOUR TRUE GOD REALLY IS. AND DONT' TAKE OUT THE RAGE AT YOUR ANSWER ON THE MESSENGER. HE'S JUST TRYING TO GET SOME STRANGE. LIKE MY FORMER MUSE MARK LAMMERS USED TO SAY: ASKING A MAN TO GIVE UP THE CHANCE FOR PUSSY IS LIKE ASKING HIM TO PASS A $5 BILL ON THE STREET. & HE WAS GAY. / MEN ARE DIFFERENT. DON'T TRY TO BREAK THEM TRAIN THEM OR MAKE THEM INTO YOUR IMAGE. KNOW THEM. HELP THEM. LISTEN TO THEM. LOVE THEM. HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE. HOLD YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE. BE CONSISTENT. NOT CHEAP & EASY. DON'T PUT UP WITH IT FOR A JOB THEN SLAM THEM WHEN IT'S CONVENIENT. THAT'S PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE & WHAT I HATE MOST ABOUT WOMEN. I LOVE THAT MEN WILL JUST TELL YOU SHIT POINT BLANK WHEN YOU DON'T TRAIN THEM TO FEAR YOU & YOUR REACTION. WE ASK TO BE LIED TO. OKAY. GODSPEED. AND SMOKERS START YOUR OWN THING. INTERNET HAS NOW KILLED THE HARD ON. NO FUN HERE. LEAVE IT TO THE GOSSIPERS. IT'S ALL RIGGED NOW ANYHOW. EVEN NET NEUTRALITY WILL NOT SAVE THE INTERNET FROM CAVING IN ON ITS OWN BOREDOM AND MEANINGLESSNESS LIKE SEARS MACY'S & MALLS ACROSS AMERIKKKA ARE. / VIVA REAL LIFE JUICINESS & AWKWARD DARING INDIVIDUALITY & ART IN SECREAT OFFLINE. DARE TO BE A SECRET AND DARE TO THINK YOU EXIST IN SPITE OF YOUR SEEMING INVISIBILITY. IT'S ACTUALLY FREEING LIKE SWIMMING & PEEING NAKED OR FARTING PAST FIRST CLASS. INTERNET'S PLAYED OUT. TRY REAL LIFE AGAIN. IT'S HOTTER BEING A LITTLE SCARED AGAIN. WORK IT. HOLD YOUR HIPS UP PAST WHEN IT HURTS SO WHEN YOU COME YOU SHIVER ALL OVER: STEP ONE. /...WELL LOOK AT THAT: I HAVE JUST ACCIDENTALLY WRITTEN THE MANIFESTO FOR WHAT I'M DOING NEXT & I'M ALREADY BACK TO SWEATING UP MY 2AM SHEETS TO DJ-X1'S LOVE ZONE.
XXX . . .
ERIKA LOPEZ.